ROBIEWANKENOBIE

oh, hai there internets.

here is my obligatory recap of the last ten years/last year.

ten years ago started with skating lessons. i learned to leap. i learned to fall. it was good stuff. as theLeon was working a daytime rent-a-cop position at the local mall, i had plenty of time to spend at the rink. my bod was pretty awesome. also, i was working second shift as an archivist/typesetter/photo prep girl at a text book film company. the tea guru there taught me all about steeping times and single origin teas. i left there to work as a production manager for a startup design company.

nine years ago, theLeon and i started to think about babies. we changed our mind two weeks later. we were already preggers. my boss at the startup asked me to falsify documents for the state, and i was courted by a small design firm, and i jumped at the opportunity. then we had a miscarriage. my new boss was a chain smoker, massive coffee drinker, and lounge singer. he and my co-worker watched re-runs of law and order obsessively (and i mean obsessively). i got knocked up again. theLeon had a scare at the mall. an unhinged dude in a security uniform walked into the mall. the cops called theLeon and he found the off duty officer on duty. they trailed him outdoors. theLeon got a call that the guy was armed and warned the officer just in time for the guy to shoot to the side and aim straight at the officer...who shot him dead. about that time i started paging theLeon. because my water had broken. needless to say, this made for an interesting evening. mr8 came out perfect and perfect (he's going to be nine this week!). oh, and then i had my spleen out before my cobra was kaput. oh, and i went crazy. at the end of that year, the print design market went pbhhpt. my boss was apologetic, but he just couldn't afford me. so, off i went on another job hunt. my boss helped me out by writing finely tuned personalized letters of recommendation while i sent out my resumes. during one of those sessions he took off his toupee.

eight years ago i started working at helljob. i knew it was a bad scene from the start, but i was worried about feeding the new babe. i worked there for five years. also? 911.

seven years ago, mr9 got rsv. it was hip. it was happening. it was supposed to be something that only wee babins got. after a couple of weeks of breathing treatments, he was right as rain. the husband chose the online moniker "theLeon."

six years ago, i had mr6! his birth was uneventful, but i had complications after the delivery. also? crazy again! considered becoming "a little known, but amazing dancer struggling against all odds to make it professionally." visited susie in washington, d.c. theLeon lost his job, and spent his spare time fixing stuff around the house. my baby still wasn't sleeping through the night. and the OMGWTFBBQ! we had one. 'cause who could resist having an actual OMGWTFBBQ? lots of online people. delightful in person.

five years ago, strep became my hobby. mr6. was exiled from daycare for biting this cute little asian baby. daily. mr6 had, and i quote, "an alarming number of bites."i started sleeping more. we invented schmerkle day (every february 23rd). the manager from my parent's bookstore asked us to take in her kid. which we did. garret lad was loads of fun (except he wasn't). the women in my knitting group declared that my theme phrase should be "whimsy is my bitch." i had my tonsils out. went nuts. AGAIN. figured out why i went nuts, and gave up taking narcotics as pain meds ever again. kicked garret lad out.

four years ago, did not get the leopard mary janes of my dreams. started packing bento boxes for lunches. bought a new car. my uncle died. helped create "babies first teratoma" knitting pattern. reaffirmed my devotion to taco salad.

three years ago, i did my first doll quilt exchange. i played at roller derby (but i couldn't afford it full time). i dreamed of kitchy vacations. i sprained my ankle (badly), and during the visit with the doctor - she told me to quit helljob. my friends told me to quit helljob. i quit helljob, became a barista at night, and spent my summer days at the pool with the kids.

two years ago, we had a crazy ice storm and lost power for over a week. it was fantabulous (except it wasn't). declared a mulligan. spent a lot of time reading harry potter to the kids. spent some time with the cullens. did another quilt exchange. had someone total my car. got a new car. had a friend run into new car.

this year, i quit my barista job to become a church secretary. also? my dad died. it sucked ass. at the beginning of my journey, a friend who had lost her father to cancer (suzabelle) wrote me a letter. she said that there would be amazing moments that i would never forget. when he started saying his goodbyes to everyone, he looked at me and said, "we're cool." and we are. later on in his illness (he wasn't lucid) he stood up – when i went over to keep him from falling, i asked him why he was getting up, and he said, "to hug my daughter."