robiewankenobie

you know when you're having that day? when you sleep in, and thank your lucky stars for your leon who provided childcare for his chilluns? and you decide to skip the bath? because, lets be honest, who will be stopping by the house on a day as pretty as this? nah, they're probably all outside accomplishing things.

but you say to yourself, "self? screw all that crap you were going to do. taxes and shit can wait. today? today is a day to revel in the sloth. keep those pajamas on and rejoice!" nevermind dressing the little scamp who is running 'round happily repeating "naked boy! naked boy!" over and over. the other dons a dress shirt with his plaid sleepy pants. and a tie. and you are sore amused.

then you look around at your house. and decide that you should be cleaning. so you clean a little here, clean a little there.

and then you get the news.

your mother-in-law is driving up. she thinks that she's spending the night at your house. think quickly. ah, hotel! blessed be the day that God invented the hotel. i think it was a tuesday. then you run to the computer. and getyourownsef or herownsef, rather, a kickin' deal on a hotel room. she is pleased. blessed be the hotel.

then you realize that she's still going to go in your house. ah, yeah. no. notsomuch. this will notsomuch do. so you, and the husband become whirling dervishes of the clean. you do recall a children's book call "miss tessie tate." she is awesome. she cleans on roller skates. it makes the cleaning twice as fast. so you feel compelled. compelled! to don your blue suede roller skates from ye olde' funky hip thrift shop. oh, and it does make it twice as fast. and you pass the afro wig on the table and decide that might be a little too much.

last but not least, you swing the lavender container like a priest swinging his insense. and you don something respectable. but you are not quite church ready as you plan. hear me? plan to break your lenten promise not to purchase food outside the grocery. technically, she's buying, but still. so more sin than sloth. especially if you look closely under the beds.