true story.

once upon a time, when i was sixteen, i smuggled contraceptive sponges into germany. my mother made me do it. all the blame is hers.

i was going for a visit. my mother asked my sister-in-law what she would like from the states. contraceptive sponges. they were illegal or unavailable or somesuch. my mother, hops on down to planned parenthood (she volunteered there) and asks them if they have any for her to send. they do. they send her a friggin’ case.

it is my first, and only, trip abroad. i get to customs and i’m quaking in my boots. how do i answer the question “business or pleasure.” ‘cause i’m sure they are going to open the suitcase. if i say pleasure...that ain’t gonna look good. business? even worse. the best i could come up with? i’m visiing my brother. *ahem* if you know what i mean.

they didn’t open the case.