ROBIEWANKENOBIE

i'm sentimental today. and i can't quite explain how i feel.

all my boys have been gone this week. and i haven't had to work, because it was sort of a last minute decision. and it has been fabulous. you know what? i'm really really good at this alone stuff. probably even better than i used to be way back when. i've been reading a lot a lot a lot, and watching some movies on ye olde computer. i've been staying up late, hanging out with friends...not accomplishing as much as i should. this is some good stuff people. and my head? clearer. quieter. calmer.

the best thing? is how much this reaffirms how lucky i am. when everything is shut off and quiet i can revel in this life that i have. man, i could have shitty ungrateful little bastards. instead? i have these fascinating children. ones that challenge me, and challenge my heart in ways that i can't explain. i mean, honestly, i planned these kids...but i never planned on loving them so outrageously.

and damn this theLeon feller. i know he's amazing. i know it. it feels like we met two seconds ago. it's like the stupid lovey dovey shit that we had when we were kids...except we aren't. and i know now that it doesn't happen for everyone. i didn't back then. so, i'm holding on for all it's worth. why is it that none of these bullshit movies don't talk about the raging hormonal crazy ferver that you can have for someone that you've known so long? he doesn't hold back, and neither do i...how can love be this big?