ten years of awesome

so. i was watching that bachelor trainwreckfest (don't judge! i can tell that you're judging!) while knitting. and i'm sitting next to the leon. and i'm thinking to myownsef...these girls? when they gush that they want to spend the rest of their lives with this random guy they just met? what does that mean to them?

seriously? i'm sitting on a pile of unfolded clean laundry. we're making popcorn with the amazing tenth anniversary popcorn maker...do you think that's what they had in mind? yeah, me neither.

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dearest love,

ten years ago today, i was looking into your eyes, when i realized that you were no longer the boy that i met in college. you were a man.

i don't think that i really understood what that meant, back then. but i think i have a much clearer idea now.

martin luther king jr. said this:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. amd someone i never heard of, robert south, had this take on the subject "If there be any truer measure of a man than by what he does, it must be by what he gives.."

you've shown that in times of challenge that your actions are noteworthy, but even more than that? you've given of yourself when it would be much easier to hold back.

of course, you also do all this with fake accents and a copious amount of sarcasm...but that's what gives you flair.

after i had carter, and was getting treatment for an infection and depression...i remarked to my midwife that it would be a minor miracle if you ever found me attractive again. my midwife looked at me and said, "i don't know why you think that. he's clearly entranced by you."

i've questioned many things in the last ten years, but you've always been my compass. there is a poem, often read at funerals, by w.h. auden that reads " He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest." you, my love, are my true north.

i asked one of my parents (forgive me, i can't remember which one) what was the best part about being married. the response? i know more great things about them than anyone else on earth.

i know many great things about you. more than i could ever put down on paper. i'd be remiss if i didn't try to remember at least some of them.

i love the goofy dance you do when you've put on your underwear and your boots but before the pants go on.

i love the fact that even the most innocuous things require a long scientific explanation.

i love the fact that you can now sort the wheat from the chaff and openly mock a bad figure skating routine when you see one.

i love the way you play playdough with the boys. heck, i love most everything you do with the boys. you love them so much and it shows. sometimes i leave a room just to listen to your conversatons. you guys have the best conversations when i'm not around.

i love the fact that almost everything is fun when you are around, that you can be convinced to do *almost anything*, and that there are certain lines that you just won't cross.

i love the way that you look at me right before you reach down to pull me into a kiss.

i love the way that you tolerate radar when he licks your bald head, or the way that your big strong hands become soft when they encounter a kitten.

i love the outrageously bad fake accents you use at the most inappropriate moments.

i love the way you pretend to be mad at me while your eyes give you away.

i appreciate how easy it is to be married to you (most of the time). i feel like i have this whole "us against the world!" thing going with you. no matter what's going down in our lives, this is what we get to come home to. and it's grand.

thank you, my love.