It's Oprah's fault. And This American Life fanned the flames.

I was watching the Legends Ball special last week. And, aside from being miffed about a comment she made (regarding white people just not getting gospel music), I was struck by her message...That it is important to give thanks to those who have blazed the trail. I mean, I knew that...but I really HEARD it that night. It's kind of a Quaker belief, or it might just be my Dad, that says that you will be told something over and over, until you really hear it.

And then, the universe decided that I needed to hear this loud. And clear. They did a story about Gene Cheek. When he was twelve, his ne'er-do-well alcoholic father decided to sue Gene's mother for custody. Even though he was unable to care for him. Even though the rest of his family was also unable to care for him. What made her a bad mother? She had a mixed-race baby. In a selfless act, Gene asked the court to remove him from the home and leave the baby with his mother. His reasoning was that if the baby was given up, they'd never see him again. This kid was twelve. Talk about brave.

http://www.powells.com/biblio/1592286267?&PID=28734
http://thislife.org/ episode 313


My family is lucky.

We live in the South, for goodness sake. And our negative experiences in regards to our marriage can be counted on two hands. We would get yelled at by rednecks when walking down the street in college. I was told by some Black women that I was stealing one of their "good ones," and Leon was told that he needed to "remember his culture." We were accused of stealing a television at a retail store. My mother and I were apartment shopping without Leon, and we were told that, "we have ways of keeping undesirable people out." And my goofy gay uncle and one of Leon's Aunts gave us a bit of grief. If there is anything more? I can't remember it.

Seriously? That shit is for wimps. Nobody was thrown in jail. Nobody was beaten up. And my kids? Are just as likely to be made fun of for being short, or chubby, or vegetarian, as they are to be made fun of for being bi-racial.

Back in the day? The arguments against Interracial Marriage included things like:
• “This sort of marriage is not in the best interest of children.”
• “God has a plan for marriage and this isn’t it.”
• “Allowing this kind of marriage will pave the way for all sorts of moral depravity.”

Sound familiar? Perhaps this is why the arguments against gay marriage, or gay unions, bother me so much.

http://www.1049films.com/story_the_%20history_of_%20marriage.htm


Two kids from the country changed all that. Mildred Mildred Jeter and her husband Richard Loving had known each other since childhood. There was little fuss when they went off to D.C. In 1958. To get married (it was legal for them to get married there). When they returned, an anonymous person called the local authorities, and they were arrested. A judge suspended a year long prison sentence if they would move out of town for 25 years.

They moved to D.C. And they were miserable. They were far away from their families, and they faced discrimination everywhere. They had trouble renting apartments, and they had trouble financially.

In 1964, Mildred wrote to the Attorney General Robert Kennedy asking him for help. He recommended that they contact the ACLU, who took their case. It wasn't until 1967 that the Supreme Court made it legal for them, and all citizens, to marry interracially.

Before he argued the case to the U.S. Supreme Court, their lawyer, Bernard Cohen spoke to Richard Loving. "He was very country, sort of rough. He just said. 'Tell them I don't understand why if a man loves a woman he can't marry her no matter what her color.'"

http://www.people.vcu.edu/~jmahoney/lec07net.htm


This isn't just an old story from the sixties, however. In the 1980s, Bob Jones University went to court to defend their policy against interracial dating. And the last state provision prohibiting interracial marriage (Alabama) wasn't removed until the year 2000. Sure, a lot of ridiculous statutes remain on the books. But this one remained out of spite. When the provision was voted on, 40% of the voters were AGAINST removing it.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20001225/kennedy
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/jefferson/mixed/


I'm lucky. Really lucky to have found someone that I love. I can't imagine my life without him. And I want to thank the Lovings, and all those who fought to make this possible for us.

http://www.lovingday.org/holiday.htm