ROBIEWANKENOBIE

dear signs billboards and plaques,

please quit encouraging me to be better. seriously. we could all be better, couldn’t we? i know you’d sell fewer bumper stickers and potions if i was just hanging out celebrating the not new nor improved me, but i could live with that.

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dear latte,

i know that i’m not making you with espresso. heck, today i even used maxwell house. i know that i’m also supposed to be using a frother thingy. i assure you. this causes me pain. but today? i put the grief behind me. because blowing bubbles through the stirring straw to froth the cream? it was a hell of a lot of fun.

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dear sons,

please keep that little space behind your ear where it isn’t quite neck. it is the best snuggle kissing spot on the planet.

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dear cowboy boots and recently located leopard print awesome skirt where were you when i was packing skirt of awesomeness,

you make a damn fine couple.

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dear lazy assed elves,

any self respecting elf would steal two. seriously. what kind of wuss are you to only steal one of my double pointed knitting needles. there are five in a set. i’m not asking for all of them, or even three of them. but you’ve got to have standards. buck up and act like a man. or elf. or something.

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dear serger that i’m buying because it didn’t sell at my friend’s yard sale,

vrooooooooooooooooooooom! let’s make some funky ole shorts for the kiddos this summer. i’m thinking planets. i’m thinking cowboys. i’m thinking DINOSAURS!

love,
robiewankenobie