ROBIEWANKENOBIE

hey, y'all.

i've been foiled! my plans to venture northward, in order to re-energize my already flagging accent, were for naught. i was to visit a dear friend. she called on friday to tell me that they had nine inches of snow...and were expecting another ten or so over the weekend.

i fear that my accent will degrade further as i have accompanied the leon to his hometown in the daggum mountains. way up in thur. my sister-in-law? happens to have hailed from my part of the country...and honey? she is breaking out with the "rekkin'" right and left. pshaw.

anywhoo. the drive down was fearful. there were fifty or so wrecks in town last night as the rain turned to deadly ice. we spent the night at my folks on the way down. the leon was sick and snoring, the children were afraid of the freaky house sounds, and i got little to no sleep. and seriously? y'all? no coffee. did you hear me? a two and a half hour drive in the rain with no fucking coffee. laws. and here comes the christmas miracle, y'all! a newfound coffee shop on the way up into the mountains of b.f.nowheresville!

we got here. the boys attached themselves to cable teevee like it was going out of style, and i've taken a nap. currently we're watching the dugger family in amazement. would that i were as patient as she is. the leon's grandma had seventeen of her own, and didn't seem quite as patient. when i met her she was much more of the rocking on the porch with a gun on one side, bible on the other, dipping snuff, variety.

i'm a'lookin' forward to a full day of sloth tomorrow followed by a possible visit to the movie thee-a-ter. this town is "run" by a local preacher who does things like keep racially tense movies like "mississippi burning" and "a time to kill" out of local theaters. luckily he doesn't seem to have anything against vampires. however...

said minister has a whole thing about alcohol. so no hot buttered rum for christmas, kiddies. the leon saves the day, however, by transporting half our cabinet de booze down here with us...just 'cause. however STILL NO RUM. combined with my coffee beans, grinder, and french press...well, it's darn near civilization. if only there was a good midnight service in town. i feel decidedly under carrolled this year.

which leaves us plenty of time to enjoy the mountains and his family.