adventures in automobiles

act 1: she is kaput

my car? she is kaput. in all fairness, i only asked her to make it ten years when i bought her. she made it . with a few months to spare. i will probably cry when she gets towed. i'm sentimental that way.
and now to find a new girl. i wonder who she'll be...

act 2: how not to make a sale

me: [drive up in de van]
him: [approach like a vulture, but a nice vulture]
me: i've got x amount of money. cash.
nice vulture: i'm not sure what we have for that much. why not use it as a down payment and get something "really nice."
me: sorry. what do you have for x amount of cash?
nice vulture: let me go see my manager.
manager: [clearly scoffs. points out two cars.]
me: okay, well i might come back and test drive something on wednesday.
nice vulture: great! here's my card. [walks back to trailer]
manager: [yells] what? is it too much car for her?
me: [calls the vulture]. yeah, so i don't know if that was a co-worker or a manager, but he didn't particularly endear himself to me with that comment. it may not be a lot of money, but it's still money, you know.

thus ends rwkn is assertive theatre. [takes a bow]