ROBIEWANKENOBIE

i'm treading dangerous ground today, and it's all leon's fault. the carefully chosen non-mommy jeans that i spent eons searching for at the thrift shops...on the floor in FRONT of the washer. as opposed to in the dryer. or on the sofa...the repository of miscellaneous pieces of clothing that i've folded, but have spitefully refused to walk themselves into my dresser. this is why i'm wearing a pair of thriftstore bound bluejeans. not just any bluejeans, mind out, but the ones that make my ass look fucking amazing. well, at least they did ten pounds ago. they've got a bit of stretch to them, you see. this means that, although they are nicely molded to my assets this very moment...it is only a matter of time before they sag in all the wrong places. dude...my six (soon to be seven...don't remind me) year old whispered something to the other little guy this morning. when i asked him what he said...seriously now, i'm quoting...he said, "you look just like a teenager, mom." i thought it was that i had pulled back my hair, but he said that wasn't it. IT WAS THE JEANS OF AMAZING AWESOME...I KNOW BECAUSE KIDS DON'T LIE. much. *ahem* i just sent off three bags of thrift to the local shop yesterday, so it will be a few days before i send again. it is a distinct possibility that i will only take these jeans off long enough to switch into clean undies...until thrifty send off day...but i might be saved by the next article of clothing that is plaguing me.

the coat. the coat of muppet goodness. the coat that stands directly between me and my goal of throwing off "but it's comfortable" and channeling the what's not to wear folks. okay, so i don't what enormously sized person...or manufacturer, for that matter...decided that green faux fur was a great idea, but dayumn. seriously. i can just about wrap this coat around me a second time. i remember seeing a co-worker wear this at the olde jobbe. it was a vision, and i used a respectful hushed tone when i said, "if you ever tire of that coat, please send it my way." she did. now, i'm not saying that it isn't fabulous and a half when combined with my "merry christmoose" antlered trucker hat, but it might not be the best coat for projecting the image of a caring parent. unless it says something along the lines of, "i care so much about my children that i've decided to dress like their favorite stuffed animal." it's so fucking comfortable that it's hard to resist. like a green furry meadow, or something. land sakes. okay, so, since the demise of the most perfect coat on the planet...i've been wearing the warm furry coat of goodness on an, i'll admit it, fairly regular basis. yesterday i decided to hitch up my big thrifty save the world from conspicuous consumption panties and get me a new coat. i may have been thwarted by the talbots outlet store (i resisted, but it wasn't easy...they have larger petite sizes, people), but i'm back on the bandwagon today...and spending time in all those thrift stores might convince me to move these fabulous jeans along to the next recipient. right?

right?