ROBIEWANKENOBIE

I ARE TINY KITN

yeah. i'm a badass. i'll admit it. don't let my sofalike exterior fool you. my abilities to resist overeating, and my rightious exercising skillz will have me svelte in no time. excepting for when i am at a knitting retreat and people force me AGAINST MY WILL, I TELL YOU, AGAINST MY WILL to drink the best damn mojitos on earth. that and a cheeze smorgasbord extravaganza.

holy shit ebaneezer...i totally passed a mirror last night on my way out...and i tell you what...that girl looks nothing like the girl in my head. the good news for me is that i'm the girl in my head. i feel sexy and cute and shit. the bad news? is that i'm as big as a sofa. no lie.

so, except for a lurch off the wagon last night, okay, catapult off the wagon...i've been doing pretty well. tracking calories, avoiding the pastries of the devil at work. and i've been exercising. i can't help that last part. these kids of mine are fast little suckers, and i have to keep up with their supahfast lightening speed. somedays i want a baby. just so that i can have one kid that can be strapped into a swing or stroller and stay where i fucking put them. of course there is that whole velcro bit where they won't leave your side and, uh, childbirth to keep me from actually "going there."

last night we decided that future self should be able to go back and slap past self every oncet and awhile. nene admitted that past self could probably kick present self's ass, so maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. we have solved that problem with future urban self. future urban self ain't one to be toyed with. i wish she would get here soon and help me get my ass in gear. 'cause my ass? i haven't seen it in months...and i'm not sure that i want to. *shudder*